Imagine a man who has had a singing career, highlighted by
singing the National Anthem before Super Bowl XX in 1976, an acting career that
has spanned forty years, appearing on TV shows ranging from M*A*S*H to Touched by an Angel, made some 60 appearances as a guest on The Tonight Show, and spent five years
working as a special correspondent for ABC’s Good Morning America. Would you listen to what a man like that has
to say about living a passionate life?
Imagine a man who graduated from Harvard, has written
several books including a memoir that was made into a feature film (for which
he also composed much of the music), and has spoken about his life to hundreds
of thousands of people. Would you listen
to what a man like that has to say about living with purpose?
Imagine a man who has met and learned from Hellen Keller, Dr.
Martin Luther King, Jr., and Muhammad Ali.
Who has run the NYC Marathon, golfed Augusta, and been enshrined into
the National Wrestling Hall of Fame.
Would you listen to what a man like that has to say about meeting challenges?
Alright, admit it; you have no idea who I’m talking about,
do you?
That’s okay. Truthfully,
I didn’t know any of this stuff either before I picked up a copy of his
book.
Imagine that the man who has done all these things is blind,
and has been almost since birth. Would
you be interested in hearing what such a man has to say about living a
fulfilling life?
Me too.
The man who happens to be blind is Tom Sullivan. If you are a child of the 70’s, or even the
80’s, you undoubtedly have seen him. He
was ubiquitous on television during much of that time. There he is.
Told you you'd recognize him.
Here's what he looks like these days:
In addition to appearing on many popular series in those
decades, he was also a very frequent visitor on the talk show circuit: Dinah
Shore Douglas
for a few weeks.
But I remember him particularly from one of his sitcom
guest-star roles. He played a blind
businessman on an episode of WKRP in Cincinnati
Truth is, it was for this reason, and pretty much only this
reason, that I bought Seeing Lessons when
I saw it standing on the shelf of our local Bookmans.
Scary, isn’t it, that this is the way I tend to make
decisions?
In the episode of WKRP
called “To Err is Human,” Tom Sullivan plays Hester Sherman, a successful local
businessman who happens to be blind.
This was, in itself, groundbreaking in a sense, at least it was for
me. People of my generation or older can
probably still faintly recall how the disabled were typically portrayed on TV
back in the 70’s; that is, on the rare occasions they were portrayed at
all. They were almost always victims
needing someone to help them, protect them, or rescue them. Even as a kid, it didn’t take long to figure
out that having a disabled person who needed rescuing in the plot was a really
easy way to generate empathy in the audience, not to mention a rooting interest
in the good guy doing the rescuing. That’s
some easy lovin’, so to speak.
But Hester Sherman needs no rescuing. In fact, the way Tom Sullivan portrayed the
character, the idea seems positively ludicrous.
No, in this episode, it is hapless - and fully sighted - Herb Tarlek who
needs to be saved from Hester Sherman. Even
the irresistibly beautiful Jennifer Marlowe encounters initial disappointment as
she seeks to rescue Herb, discovering to her shock that her cornucopia of exterior
attributes are pretty much lost on Sherman.
Fortunately, though, Jennifer’s beauty is located as much below the skin
as in it, and it is
Hester Sherman is no victim, nor is he a bitter man, seeking
vengeance against a world that takes for granted the very precious thing he lacks. Sherman
simply treats his disability in a matter-of-fact, no-nonsense way, and in doing
so, he gave me a new and better way of thinking about the people who have happen
to have one.
And here we get to the real reason that episode had such a
lasting impact on me. I beg your pardon
in advance; this is going to require me to be blunt for a moment.
There’s something in me that loves to see stereotypes being
f*cked with. I’m not really sure what it
is exactly or why; I just know that I take great delight in seeing them turned
inside out, or upside down, or blown to smithereens. And in his role as Hester Sherman, Tom
Sullivan was f*cking with the stereotypes associated with being blind and
disabled.
I love him for that.
So that, more than anything, explains why I picked up his
book when I saw it, and then moved everything on my extensive reading stack to
the side while I read it. I wanted to
know more about the man with the courage to f*ck with stereotypes, and the
drive to show us something different. That’s
when I learned all the other stuff about Mr. Sullivan, and my respect for the
man who happens to be blind grew far deeper.
I’d like to share a few of his observations and comments,
especially some of those that jumped out at me.
Here they are, in no particular order:
“Self worth comes about from having a dream, taking a risk,
and doing the work.”
“Let yourself become passionate about the world around you.”
“In my teens and early twenties, I raged against the system,
sometimes rather obnoxiously. My intense
desire to be completely independent (you
don’t have to be disabled to feel this way – K.T.) made me never accept
help from people when I was traveling on my own…
How much easier would it have been for me to take someone’s
arm and walk across the street rather than step out in the middle of traffic
and hear the screech of brakes when I misread the pattern of stoplights? How often did I knock down displays in
crowded department stores when I was trying to shop on my own? Sometimes the colors of my clothes didn’t
match because I wouldn’t ask my roommates for help in sorting out my closet.”
“Work every day at valuing people – not belittling them,
judging them, or pushing them away because you don’t think they’re worthwhile.”
“In moments of pain and doubt, we can summon our courage and
grow to be better than we ever thought possible.”
“Eventually I had the opportunity to meet Dr. King, and I’ll
never forget how quickly he honed in on his perception of who I was. In a short time, he made me understand that
the problem was not in others; it was in me.
I was putting out the bad vibe. I
was being intolerant. I had to change.
I came to understand that most people meant well, that they
were not prejudiced – they were simply misinformed. I experienced a true catharsis of
spirit. In this breakthrough, I grew to
realize that love and respect, when expressed openly, can overcome almost all
negative stereotyping.”
“No winner has ever existed without giving bent to his
passion, and no passion has ever taken us to our goals without connecting it to
other people of like mind.”
“Our passions engage us in the experience of being
alive. They allow us to risk in order to
gain reward. They come from our core and
are the songs sung by our souls. If we
deny them, we are less. If we do not
continue searching for them, we are far less than we were meant to be. They are not always obvious, yet each of us
knows when we have discovered them. Hold
your passions close to your heart, and as you embrace them, recognize that it
is only in the expression of passion that life will find true meaning.”
On Muhammad Ali:
“He told me that he ministers to the world and lives the
tenets of Islam with a profound commitment to peace. I not only believe him but embrace his
calling. He is a human treasure not
because of a great left jab and the ability to move in the ring with a fluidity
never seen before or since in a boxer but because of who he is – a man of faith
and love.”
“It is impossible to do the right thing if you are paralyzed
by your fears.”
“I have seen people at their best when they are trying to
help a blind person get along in the world.
Even if their efforts are patronizing or misplaced, what must be decided
is: Where are they really coming
from? If the aid they offer is from the
heart, even if the approach is somewhat demeaning or awkward, learn to accept
the essential goodness offered in the intention.”
“If you are fearful rather than courageous, the result is an
absolute certainty: you will fail. The only person who pays the price when
accepting fear as a dominant part of life is you.”
“Blindness has made me understand that I must trust others –
whether it’s my life mate, Patty, or my companion dog, Partner; whether it’s
skiing with Blythe or playing golf with Tom lining up the shots…Believing in others is as important as
believing in yourself.”
“Let me lighten the load when you think about challenge…
Challenge is fun. Competing is fun. Reaching beyond your grasp is fun. There is joy in the wondrous feeling of being
completely alive when you take on the exciting experience of the challenge…Why
not embrace the concept with joy and enthusiasm?”
“Faith is the abracadabra part – the magic of it all, the
element of confidence that causes miracles to occur, the belief that makes hope
live in our hearts and inspire our souls.”
“All winners who I’ve been privileged to be around believe
that success comes from a leap of faith.
And you know what? Taking that
leap is a hell of a ride and a lot of fun.”
“Being blind has afforded me the opportunity to look behind
the immediates of physical appearance and ethnicity…I have never met an ugly
person unless he or she wanted to be, unless he or she demonstrated a
personality that was truly ugly in its manifestation…
Cruelty for its own sake is ugly.
Arrogance is ugly.
Misplaced anger is ugly.
Ethnic cleansing is ugly.
Racial prejudice is ugly.
Socioeconomic bigotry is ugly.
There are bad people in the world, and when we see the
ugliness of human intolerance, we must do everything possible to stamp it out.”
So, there you have it.
If you found something valuable in the selection of Mr. Sullivan’s
words, I highly recommend checking out one of his books. Here are just a few of them:
To close out this post, it just so happens that Mr. Sullivan
is very good friends with Betty White (she actually helped Tom and his wife
meet in 1970). She gives a nice overview of some of Mr. Sullivan's achievements:
P.S. Joy of
joys!!! I found the blog of someone who
has uploaded the “To Err is Human” episode of WKRP in Cincinnati
"To Err is Human" WKRP in Cincinnati courtesy of Something Old, Something New
"To Err is Human" WKRP in Cincinnati courtesy of Something Old, Something New
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